During my Multiple pregnancy it was the Milestones along the way that kept me going, it meant that I could just focus on reaching the next milestone without necessarily having to think about the bigger picture.
The Milestone I’m talking about today is forcing me to do the opposite, to take a step back and look at where I have been and where I intend to go.
Two days before my Triplets celebrate their 3rd birthday I will be turning 40.
I haven’t really paid any attention to my birthdays for a long time. If you’d asked me how old I was a couple of years ago I would have struggled to give you an answer.
This birthday could easily have passed in the same way – there’s not much time for reflection when you’re parenting toddler triplets – but my pending Milestone birthday was brought to my attention by the fact that an organisation that has helped me out in recent years is also about to turn 40.
AMBA was created in July 1974 by Multiple birth families who wanted to help support other families along their journey.
I can’t begin to imagine how scary our journey would have been without the access to information, the medical advances and the support that is available to us today.
Here are my reflections on turning 40.
The Past, The Present and The Future:
Twenty years ago I lived in the UK, I had recently discovered the excitement of world travel and I was just beginning a career as a Chef, but I had no Idea what I actually wanted to do with my life.
Thanks to years of patience and several words of wisdom from my Mum and Dad I had somehow managed to survive my Teenage years and had come out of the other side with a surprisingly positive outlook on life.
A year later my Dad passed away and my whole world fell apart, I hadn’t realised how much I had relied on my Dad being there for me until he wasn’t there any more. It was around this time that I remember deciding that I would never have children. My thought process was, If I never had children then I would never have to lose them and they would never have to lose me.
Thankfully I held onto those words of wisdom that my Dad had passed onto me and through the despair I went about following my dreams and trusting fate to guide me in the right direction.
It’s probably just as well that I didn’t have a real plan to follow, because there’s no way I would have predicted that I would be living on the other side of the world in a beautiful house with my husband and Toddler Triplets by the time I turned 40.
I am currently doing the most difficult and most rewarding job I have ever done. When I take a step back I can see that this is the perfect job for me, I get to cook, I get to play, I get endless hugs and kisses and thanks to the years that I spent dealing with the stress and pressure of being a Chef I have (almost) enough patience to deal with three terrible toddlers at the same time.
My Twenties lead me to my Soul mate, a new country and a whole new way of life.
My Thirties taught me to settle down, put down some roots and allow three more very special people into my life.
My Forties will be dedicated to giving those three special little people the best start in life and hopefully passing on some of my own wisdom along the way.
I would like to say a big thank you to AMBA, for offering support to families who otherwise would be left feeling isolated and alone. I would also like to thank AMBA for making me stop and reflect on our shared Milestone birthday.
Milestones are like pinpoints on the map of our lives. As the moment is created we are acutely aware of who and where we are, and in the years to come they help us to organise our memories and allow us to tell our tale.